Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
