Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i've created a new STD.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
