I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
