the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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