you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
