I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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