You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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