last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
