Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
