I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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