i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
