Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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