Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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