I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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