pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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