jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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