apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
