So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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