He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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