i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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