i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
