He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
