What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
