his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
