She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize