Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
