Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
