I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
