Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
