I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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