return my video game
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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