I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize