I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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