Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
