my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
