he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
