I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
