You really coming over, don't trick.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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