CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
