based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
