dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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