I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
