idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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