your thong is hanging out like whoa
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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