According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
