i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
