you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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