It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
