goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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