Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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