I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
