I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
