Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
