oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
