Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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