just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
