you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
