this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
