he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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