is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
