Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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