I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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