I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
